Your mission should you choose to accept it…

…is to look for dropped curbs in all their silly sorts and sizes. You should remember though, that should you be caught or killed, I will disavow any knowledge of your actions…

Now I’m sure that those of you who have pushed a pushchair, let alone those of you who have propelled a wheelchair, know that drop curbs are really important. You know what I mean, at the side of the road, the bit that slopes into the street so that you don’t have to hoick your chair/pushchair up a major step just to get from one side of the road to the other. Those little slopes are great, but the workmen who lay them are my current arch enemies….

You see, a wheelchair has big wheels at the back and little teeny ones at the front and there is a person sitting in this contraption who has no seatbelt and no brakes suitable for slowing down apart from a strong grip in their fingers. The little teeny wheels when hitting even a very small obstacle can stop very suddenly and momentum (that’s physics that is) means that the energy contained within the chair and the person has to go somewhere. It usually gets dispersed through a couple of things – 1. the person flies forward out of the chair onto the street (the flying forward bit uses up most of the energy) and 2. they make a certain amount of noise (either screaming or swearing) which uses up a bit more energy. Anyway, it ain’t fun…and your friends laugh at you to boot.

Why don’t they make drop kerbs level with the street? Why do they leave a little step (which can be anything up to several inches tall). Are they all mean and are hiding round the next corner waiting to snigger at the person who makes a mad dash across the road – being speedy to try and to avoid the traffic – who then hits the immoveable object with those little front casters and gets hurled out onto the pavement (again!).

So, all I ask is that you spread the message and just look out for them yourself – who knows, here could be a trip waiting to happen there – and not the kind you’d send a postcard from either….

…. this blog will self destruct in five seconds….