Spontaneous Transplantation?

I do hope this post doesn’t gross you all out, but you see today I found a hair on my chest!

Now, I do have a theory (all that wondering does that) and that’s that it may have been a case of spontaneous transplantation. You see, as many of you know, I use an epilator – under my arms! I do that because I am “hard” – or possibly because I am “a real man” ^*1, or maybe just because I like the results, but regardless, it involved plucking your hair out by the roots – and lots of them at a time. Inevitably some of them fall downwards (that’s gravity that is) and I fear that one of them may have dropped into my bra. Being recently plucked (and therefore still ‘alive’) and in the warm and cosy environment of my bra I fear it may have spontaneously transplanted itself into my chest. Now, I don’t know too much about the subject (maybe I should ask Elton John?) but it seems feasible. So, what of this stray hair? Well, it’s gone, plucked and gone and there’d better be no more where that came from!

Of course, there is another theory, and that’s that it got lost from the great internal hair ball and took a wrong turning. I of course know that there is a great internal hair ball (and not from living with cats!) but from observing men. You see many men are basically lazy (not hubby of course) and the older they get the lazier they get. Assuming that the old adage of lazy mind, lazy body stands, then they will also have lazy hair ball and hair won’t want to do all that struggling upwards to get to the top of the head, oh no, it’d much rather take an easy route out through the ears or nose or just push its way out through the chest somewhere close. This is of course why men go bald on top but get hairier and hairier in odder and odder places as they get older...

Now, I want to make it clear – I am not a) a man or b) lazy and as to the hair, well, you decide...

^*1I was famously called this by a friend when I once decided to smack myself in the mouth with a lump of metal and then didn’t cry.....!