I was sat at dinner this evening with SBB (secret bad boy) and ETS (I can't tell you what that stands for or I'd have to kill you!) and we were finding out more about each other. Anyway, we were talking about 'stuff in our lives' (including ETS's alleged alter ego) and I turned to the person next to me and asked him if he'd tell me a secret from his childhood.
Curiously, he said "Sure!" (how many people would do that?), and started with the tame stuff, telling us a story of when he turned the taps on and flooded the conservatory, before he moved on to juicier stuff that he had tried not to own up to and wanted to keep secret... Incidentally, although his mother claims he did it deliberately, he was only 3 at the tap-turning-on occurrence so I am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for that one...after all, I'm thinking that maybe at that age, secrecy isn't something you have a strong grasp of.
Anyway, apparently, when he was a bit older, he told us that he put a golf club through the window - also in the conservatory. He didn't say if he was still confined there as punishment for the tap issue or if he lived in the conservatory, but for sure, it's featured heavily in his early life. Actually (as a bit of an aside), I don't think he's much of a stone thrower, so I'm wondering if he did spend a lot of time in there...
...it was around this point, he paused in his storytelling and looked rather pensive. I had two choices...push him into the really juicy story, or let him be...I was very good...and did neither, but waited for someone else to push him gently into the real dirt...and dirt it turned out to be...
He drew a deep breath and asked - "Do you know how far tomato soup goes when it explodes?"
It seems, that the kitchen was being refitted and so a makeshift kitchen was set up in the living room - the fridge was there, freezer and microwave and food - everything you need. So, SBB decided he fancied tomato soup for tea. For some reason known only to himself, he decided that the microwave was not a suitable piece of equipment for reheating soup (I think this is a man thing, as hubby wouldn't use a microwave for that either), and so, as you do, decided to use his camping stove. My first thought was that camping stoves and living rooms don't really go hand in hand, but my fears about curtains and naked flames were completely unfounded as it turned out. It seems SBB put the soup into a pyrex dish and put it on the camping stove (I hear the sound of a sharp intake of female breath at this); it started to heat up nicely and was almost at the perfect temperature when...
BANG!!!
...the pyrex dish exploded!
The soup exploded outwards from the dish - onto the walls and the ceiling...and the curtains and the carpet...and onto the TV, the video cabinet and the stereo...and inside the stereo speakers, down the side of the sofa etc etc.
Now, I don't know what you'd be thinking at that point, but I guess it might revolve around the mess and how you were going to clean it up - but what did he say? He said "There I was, wondering how I was going to get out of that one....!" He really is a SBB, isn't he?
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