Don’t think I’m a junkie any more – I have discovered new ways of controlling my pain. Firstly – and I’m not encouraging anyone here – alcohol is a great anaesthetic! I have discovered that it is worth putting up with the pain for an evening out with friends – enough beer/red wine/ whisky / tequila and life seems much less painful. Actually I think it hurts just as much, its just you don’t care. Oh yes and then there’s the thing where you feel absolutely justified in asking for a back rub (from almost anyone) with all that dutch courage inside you!!
Anyway, as I was saying alcohol is no answer… but there are lots of things that help. I have discovered that if you take the maximum number of painkillers every day then what do you do if you have an even worse day? Rule number one – take as few tablets as you can get away with – the ones you do take will work better and you can always take more (whoopee!) Rule two – take hot baths or showers when you are stiff and painful. On the same note, buy an electric blanket – use it during the day, the night or any other time your muscles are protesting – it will help! Pillows are your friend – prop up your tender bits and don’t forget the all important back rubs. Getting someone to press gently on a muscle in spasm always helps ease it out for me. Rest when you need to and don’t spend too long in the same position – ever!
Something else that always gets me about pain is that thing they do in clinic or hospital where they ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10. What does that mean?? I think everyone’s 1-10 must be different, but just in case you’re interested – here’s mine:
1. I am fine – well, the way I normally am.
2. I may have a bit of an ache but can easily be distracted from it by the right person.
3. The pain is ticking me off a bit and I really should stop what I am doing.
4. I wish it would go away now, I’m getting annoyed but I will try and soldier on bravely.
5. I have to sit down – NOW! I am getting cranky!
6. This is getting really horrible now – I can’t do anything that requires concentration and can’t get comfy even in bed – I may have to resort to daytime TV.
7. Everything hurts now even the bits that didn’t before. It hurts if I move but also hurts when I stay still.
8. My choices are to scream, cry or throw something across the room. I do none of these because I am a nice person. I wish I had an inbuilt PCA pump. (Aaahh PCA!)
9. I think am going to die.
10. I am dead!
Well, that's that. I promise not to go on about pain next time. There are much more exciting issues and besides which I haven’t told you about my long wait yet!
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