- Getting down on your hands and knees to wash the kitchen floor is not advisable. The floor can stay dirty or, if you are clever, you can flick cat food all over it and hopefully the cats will wash it for you.
- Trying to put on your sandal whist stood on one leg will result in you crashing to the floor. It makes a very loud noise when the floor is wooden and any cat in the vicinity is unlikely to come out from under the bed for some hours.
- Shopping for food for a party for 40 people with a supermarket trolley is interesting. Things to note:
- All supermarket trolleys have wonky wheels
- All supermarket car parks run downhill in the wrong direction
- Yanking a supermarket trolley is fun with no ribs (not!)
- Supermarket trolleys are too deep to reach the things in the bottom – even when you’ve been surgically stretched. Remember, you can’t bend either.
- Baskets full of wet laundry are hard to balance when you are walking with two sticks. They’re heavy too. I think maybe we need a new laundry fairy as ours is still sipping margaritas!
- Forget coughing, or sneezing. If you want to do either, umm, well, just don’t.
- Don’t tell your friends that it only hurts when you poke it here – if it hurts, don’t poke it!
- Driving very fast over dips in the road at speed will make you feel like your rod is
- a. Trying to escape through your throat…
- .....Closely followed by…
- b. trying to escape through your a**e
- This is not nice!
*1 and I know some of you think I’m nuts and just merely tolerate this part of my personality. BMB & K, you can stop laughing; BUF, thanks for being an addict too!
No comments:
Post a Comment