It’s my anniversary….

…I’m 12 months post op today and what a wild ride it’s been!

Be warned, this is a long post too…

It is hard to believe that in the last 12 months I have been opened up, had my insides rearranged during surgery, had 2 ribs removed, ground up and stuck back inside me in a different place and had a couple of large chunks of metal shoved inside me. I’ve had my lung collapsed and been in ITU for less time than anyone ever expected. I’ve had nerve damage that meant I had to learn to walk all over again, let alone learning to do it a different way because my balance has been completely changed. I’ve bought one pair of very funky walking sticks and am contemplating a second set. I have taken my wheelchair to Belgium, Czech Republic and China and have exceeded my wildest dreams of timing during my recovery. That’s some ride, isn’t it?

Getting this surgery done seemed to take over my life. It was never far from my thoughts before the op – when I wasn’t wishing I could get it over with, I was wondering if it was really necessary at all. Talk about the sublime to the ridiculous, but it’s true, that’s the way it was. Then of course, it happened and my life for the next few months was just plain hard work – from those first moments when (excuse me for being gross) I had to have help to wipe my own bum; through the effort it took just to get a drink once hubby had gone back to work; and then all those exercises that I had from the physio – it’s not the easy route by any means…

Having said that, it was the most worthwhile thing that I have done in recent years and indeed it may turn out to be the most worthwhile thing I ever do for my future health. I would go through it again if I had to and that’s saying something!

There are lots of reasons to consider surgery like this, but none so compelling as the prospect of doom and gloom in the future. The trouble is, that it’s the hardest one to quantify too – there’s always the feeling that you will cope whatever happens over time. Whatever pain you are in, well, you know what its like; you fear that things will get worse instead of better or that the recovery will be so painful and stressful that it isn’t worth trying. Of course, the decision is a hard one to make and that’s especially true if you have borderline curves (say 40 degrees). Of course, for me, (although I had had a pair of 45 degree curves for around 20 years without them ever moving) I more recently had a documented history of progression – my curves weren’t just progressing, they were accelerating. It seems they shifted the normal 1-2 degrees a year for a few years and then started galloping along at 6 degrees a year. 6 degrees! That’s 12 degrees in 2 years, 18 in 3 years etc – just do the maths. Bad news, when you start from a 75 degree curve!

So, I got it done and I am happy. I have still ended up with what some people would consider significant scoliosis (with curves of 30 degrees thoracic and 33 degrees lumbar). That will never go away and in time, my thoracic curve may shift and need more surgery – not at the moment though (and hopefully not ever). I still get significant back pain and still get the heartburn problems. That’s the bad news though and sounds worse than it is because all my symptoms have been massively reduced – probably by 50% - which coincidentally is about the amount of correction they managed to get in my curves. Now I wonder if there’s any link between those two facts…..

So, that’s it really – I get less pain now and that should always be true. My curve hasn’t moved for 12 months and that should also always be true. My heart and lungs are no longer in danger. True. My internal organs ditto. I am fit and healthy. So that’s all the practical stuff, but then there’s the other stuff which is just a nice bonus - like gaining 2 inches in height and being able to wear some clothes that I never thought I would. The operation has given me all that and was so worth all the agonising, all the risks and all the effort. If anyone out there is contemplating going through it, think about it carefully, consider your own circumstances, but don’t fail to get it done just through fear of the unknown.