It was a dark and stormy night

So, hubby and I were sitting in bed the other morning and putting the world to rights as we had nothing special to be getting on with. It’s turned into a kind of Sunday morning ritual since we no longer get the Sunday papers delivered when at least we didn’t have to talk to each other. (I am of course, only joking, hubby is a very good listener, and I let him say stuff from time to time too….)

Anyway, there we were, in bed on Sunday morning and (being British) our conversation turned to the weather – specifically what a foul night it had been the night before with driving rain and howling winds. As an aside at this point (and for no other reason than it popped into my head right now) – I think I can tell you all (since I am sure I will get plenty of sympathy) that my poor little car has a leak in the boot ^*1 and that since I discovered it, it has done absolutely nothing but rain. I am mopping water out with a towel and strategically placing things inside so they don’t get dripped on! Oh yes, and on the same subject, whatever happened to the wonderful little product of “Seek and Seal” – just when you need something you can’t get it anywhere – grumble grumble moan moan….^*2


Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, sitting in bed etc and discussing the nasty night time weather. In the midst of this discussion, I turned to hubby and said:
“it was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the cook…..” and hubby looked at me with a completely blank face - I was astonished – hadn’t every parent told their child at some point:

“It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the cook, “Cook! Tell us a story”, and it began like this…”
“It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said to the cook, “Cook! Tell us a story”, and it began like this…”

This tale goes on ad nauseum and my parents always told it adopting more and more ludicrous accents and voices for the Captain and the cook.
As children, for some insane reason we thought it was really funny and I assumed it was a part of everyone’s childhood. Well, not hubby’s it seems and www searches turn up relatively few instances too. Of course, there is the guy who “found it hysterically funny” and that was when his story didn’t even have a cook in it!

Anyway, apparently this type of tale is called an infinitely recursive story and this 'particular' variation is based on English novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer-Lytton and his much-quoted first line, which is reputedly the worst opening line (ever) to any novel. Now, every year, there is a contest to find the new worst opening line called the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (unsurprisingly). Gosh, its amazing what you learn on a Sunday morning, isn’t it…..

^*1 Er, that would be trunk to all you people over the pond. A boot being not only the thing you shove on your foot to protect your toes (especially those with bits of steel inserted) but also where you shove your shopping in your car (that is, if you aren’t lazy and shove it on the back seat). Anyway, over here a trunk is something the Victorian gentleman might have taken on holiday with him – or something that Nelly the Elephant packed before she went off for a life filled with fun and excitement…..
^*2 If anyone out there knows how to find it, please, please, please, pretty please, get in touch……