So 8 months has rolled round at last and it now all seems like so long ago that I was one of the people avidly reading and rereading the forum entries and the blogs of the recently operated to see what my future held. Now I am one of the not so recently operated – I am now one of those people who have had the job done and now see the path of the rest of my life unrolling before me in a very different way to my pre-op days. Those days when I couldn’t decide if I really was bad enough to warrant such major surgery (believing as I did that a couple of 60++ curves ‘could be worse’) seem very far away now. It’s a curious thought that when I do look back to the time when I knew my curves were worsening - although I was concerned for my future, I was prepared to simply accept it as the way things were (in a sh*t happens, live with it kind of way). Now, I have had the surgery and have recovered well, I cannot believe that I would have been prepared to accept a constant deterioration with this naïve and simple type of resigned stoicism. I see my future now as being like anyone else’s, where barring the completely unexpected, I will trundle into the future in basically the same shape that I am now. In fact (and this is prompted by visiting my mother recently and finding that I now ‘tower’ over her*1) I guess that due to my wonderful metalwork holding my spine up, I won’t shrink with age in quite the same way that most people do – maybe in time, I can become the tallest of all my friends (apart from maybe the BUF who has impossibly long and enviable legs).
So, all that philosophising (wondering) aside, how am I? Well, I am very well indeed and have even caught myself thinking that it has all been a ‘big fuss over nothing’ until of course I lift up my shirt and peer curiously at my scar in the mirror again. It is an amazing piece of work and now has even started to turn from pink to white in places. I still love it as much as I hate the one on my back from my spina bifida. One represents a choice, decision and journey whilst the other was an accident of birth and I simply don’t view them in the same way at all. (Oops, there I go, wondering hat on again). The area around my ribs under my scar still gets sore and I still can’t poke it without it hurting (and yes I know I shouldn’t poke it then) and I still get backache pretty much every day, but it is different to the way it was before. As I mentioned a few days ago, if I had a bad day today, then I’d have one tomorrow too, and usually the day after – it could take me quite some time to get over a weekend away or a competition, but now my recovery time is really good. Even my trip to China and my 25 hours straight travelling took me less than a week to get over – something that would have taken me weeks and weeks to get over before the operation. I am much more resilient in that way and I’m still only 8 months when they said I wouldn’t be fully healed until 12 months (but heck, why settle for doing things at the same pace as everyone else, eh?). Speaking of pain, I still have to take the nerve pain pills for my leg – I’ve managed to reduce the dose a bit but its slow progress. Maybe that’s what will take the full 12 months…
Speaking of legs (agh, that’s a poor link) I carry on walking with 2 sticks when I’m outdoors. As much as anything it’s a matter of safety (um like they stop me falling over!) and they also help me maintain a much better posture. Around the house though, I’m getting on just fine without them - there’s always something to grab hold of if I fall. The other good thing with the legs is that although I still don’t have the same feeling or movement in my thigh that I had pre-op, the ‘different’ way of moving it is now becoming second nature. Movement doesn’t require the same level of concentration and even though I still have to ‘assist’ my leg into the car for example, the ‘workarounds’ that I’ve been using are becoming the norm which is making life much easier.
So, that’s pretty much it as a progress report. Hopefully at 9 months (next time) I will have news of a hospital review appointment – I called them last week and they told me the computers were down so they couldn’t tell me when it was likely to be. I did offer to plug myself into their system and see if I could put it right – well, you never know, when you’re already part Borg, anything could happen…..
*1 Actually, perhaps tower is a little too strong a word. Certainly I feel taller than her and she has shrunk, but I had shoes on at the time and she did not!
*2 The six month one that I was supposed to have 3 months after the three month one that was held at 4 months if that makes sense…
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